My husband and I have been together for 7 years total, married for about a year and 4 months. He is still the love of my life and give me the butterflies I experienced when we first got together. People have asked me how can we be together and still have the fire burn so deeply after all these years. Well... there is no secret to this specifically but we do have a few things that can for sure make your relationship thrive and a few things that could lead your relationship to crash and burn if it persists for a long period of time.
I love to end my posts on a positive note, so I will start with five things that can lead to your relationship ending.
5 Things that can Break Your Relationship
1. Discouraging Your Partner.
You and your partner are a team. If you continuously discourage and put down your partner, your significant other may internalize these negative attributes you are telling him or her. This can cause your significant other to feel depressed and sad and eventually will not be able to take it any more and will separate themselves from the negativity for the health of their own wellbeing.
2. Having a Repeated Boring Routine.
This is an easy one. If you are participating in a boring game or activity, will you continue to play? No... if both you and your partner have the same routine daily, you and him/her will eventually get bored and find amusement and entertainment elsewhere.
3. Focusing too Much on Social Media.
Your Relationship consists of just you and your significant other, NOT the rest of the world. Don’t allow the rest of the world to dictate your relationship. Don’t allow what is posted on social media be the excitement of your relationship. A lot of people put so much energy on how their relationship is displayed on social media than the actual relationship and their relationship plummeted.
4. Absence of Communication.
You can’t expect your significant other to know exactly what you need without letting him or her know what will help make you feel loved. Yes, in the cheesy romance movies, the couple can make the other happy no matter what without having to ask but let’s be real here.. IT IS JUST A MOVIE...WE ARE IN REALITY. Realistically, we don’t know everything that our partners may need and they don’t know as well. It is okay to let your partner know what you need and remember to be patient with him or her. We are lot perfect, it make a few times to remember what to do in specific moments.
5. No Trust
Without trust, you do not have a healthy relationship. Why would you want to use up all of your energy looking through your significant other’s phones. If you or your partner can’t have friendships without the other thinking there is something more, it is a huge issue. This is one thing that can tear your relationship down.
5 Things that can Make a Relationship
1. Encourage Your Partner
Take time out of your day to uplift your partner. For example set a goal to give your partner one compliment a day. Tell him or her that you are proud of them and you see their working hard. Tell them that they are beautiful or handsome. Your significant other would appreciate this greatly. You are the first and last person they think about, let it be meaningful and encouraging. It makes a huge difference when your partner feels appreciated.
2. Never Stop Dating/Create Adventures
Look up random places to go or things to do in your area. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant or expensive. My husband and I are still in grad school so we definetly don’t have all the money in the world but we try to make our dates as exciting as we can. We agreed that we want to start to look up more places in Seattle to go visit and take pictures to record the memory. It isn’t a lot but it is Gina nd special to us.
3.Don’t Forget to Laugh
Loosin’ up a bit! Not everything should be serious. Laughter will help relieve a lot of stress and keep things fun. Who says laughter can’t be romantic. Joke around and see how much fun you will have.
4. Allow Yourself to be Vulnerable
Open up about your deepest fears and your biggest goals you want to accomplish. Open up to your partner about your insecurities and what you are confident about. Tell him or her about your passions and what you want to do in your life. You can’t open up to your partner, you aren’t giving your all to them. This is the person that will be there for you when you really need them, if you can’t let them in, they can’t fully be there for you in the way you need them to be.
5. Communication. Communication. Communication.
Like I said before.. communication is key to have a healthy relationship. But, another part of communication besides talking is also listening. Sometimes the best communication is to take a step back and take in what your partner is saying to you and give them your undivided attention. Breathe, listen to understand, not to respond. This will make a huge difference in your relationship.
Take some time with your partner today and listen to each other and think of some things you both can do to improve your relationship. Don’t forget to listen to each other. We have to remember that we are all different and we each need different things from our partners to feel loved. No there is no secret recipe to have a successful marriage but you can practice the 5 things about to help your relationship thrive and find special ways to keep the love fire burning in your relationship.
Until next time xX